October 28, 2012 | Posted in:humor, Weekly Round-up, Writing

Hungry-bear

I smell misogyny and stupidity around here somewheres…

When I was in grade four, every few weeks our teacher would get the “This bullshit is not what I signed up for” look on her face, and we knew what was coming. Those were the days we’d get an extra long recess, and once inside she’d announce it was “Ketchup Day.”

“Ketchup Day” was actually “catch-up” day. She’d have us correct each other’s spelling errors and finish our chicken-scratch longhand journal entries. We’d complete construction paper art projects that lay fading on the sunny window ledge, and generally do whatever the hell we wanted, provided we left her alone to read the newspaper, and – I’m fairly certain – sob quietly. This post is not that kind of catch-up, although I will understand if you cry after reading it.

So; the week:

I don’t get political on my blog, but it’s probably fairly obvious where I fall on the left/right spectrum if you’ve read here for more than a week or so. But political affiliations aside, there is some Capital N Nutso bullshit going on down there in the States. I’m not much for the MMA Fighting circuit, but I would donate all the hair on my head to see Donald Trump and Ann Coulter fight each other in a Celebrity Death Match. I just do not understand the hatred and vitriol behind their intentions.  I’m not going to make jokes about Donald Trump’s hair, or Ann Coulter’s “pointiness” here. Instead, let’s concentrate on where the ugly really shows: in their words, and in their actions.

As for the nice this week, I found out that my writing portfolio was reviewed and accepted by The School for Writers at Humber in Toronto. It’s a year-long program where writers concentrate on a single piece of their work, while working closely with a writing mentor. It’s a self-paced program, so I won’t need to be in school full-time, thereby meaning we probably won’t starve to death this winter. Probably.

I also wrote in some other places this week. I wrote about Christina Aguilera’s hatred of underwear at MamaPop, and over at iVillage.ca I’m talking about why I’d rather shave my armpits with a grapefruit spoon than take my kids snowsuit shopping.

And The Huffington Post featured me in their round-up of funny parenting tweets. Any time I’m called funny and it’s not in reference to my appearance, I’m happy. If you’re not already on Twitter, you need to be. Come over.

My blog was also featured by WordPress.com as “Freshly Pressed” this last week. It was great for having new visitors, and I have a long list of blogs I’d like to visit back. I was out of town and without my computer when I found out I was going to be featured, otherwise I would have dusted and perhaps put out a cheese and cracker tray.

Have a great week, everyone!

Oh, except you, Donald Trump and Ann Coulter. I also kinda hope you’re both eaten by bears.

  • http://sadderbutwiser.wordpress.com The Sadder But Wiser Girl

    I second that (about certain people being devoured by bears.)

    Congratulations on your acceptance to the School for Writers! :-)

    I am so glad you were featured on Freshly Pressed so that I had a chance to read and follow your blog. I really enjoy it! Keep up the great work.

    • http://highlyirritable.wordpress.com Jeni

      Thank you! :)

  • http://masalachica.wordpress.com Masala Chica

    Jesus you crack me up! I didn’t find you through freshly pressed (though Congratulations!!!) but I agree with pretty much every point you make here. I tweeted the line “I would donate all the hair on my head to see Donald Trump and Ann Coulter fight each other in a Celebrity Death Match.” under your handle
    Brilliant!
    Kiran

  • http://joelklebanoff.com/joelsblog2 Joel Klebanoff

    I suspect that the U.S. could pay off its national debt with the proceeds from a Trump/Coulter Celebrity Death Match. Hell, they could do it just from the audience here in relatively non-violent Canada.

    For the record, I could be wrong about this, but I don’t think Trump is actually from this planet. I think he’s a space alien—the hair alone is a dead giveaway. I want to see some proof that he is, indeed, an earthling. His long-form birth certificate, drivers licenses, passport applications, college admissions applications and receipts from fast food restaurants would be adequate.

    • http://highlyirritable.wordpress.com Jeni

      I could get on board with this theory.

  • http://ravinranting.wordpress.com ravinj

    It is crazy down here. Sometimes I ponder how far off we are from Octavia Butler’s Parable series.

  • http://notwithyou.wordpress.com aboydefeated

    Hah bears have better taste… and they eat garbage.

    Congrats are definitely in order. Maybe by the time I get my Crap in order you will be my mentor.

  • Shannon

    It sounds like you have had a good week!
    I love the idea of the MMA match. I’ll throw in my hair as well.

  • http://www.jerseymomblogging.blogspot.com Sheryl

    I’m so glad we don’t live in a swing state. I would seriously scream at every phone caller, live without TV or radio (other than NPR), and avoid every ‘town hall meeting’ for at least three months.
    Congrats on the writing project!
    Here’s hoping I’ll be around to read more posts after this huge-ass storm!

  • http://everydaycommotion.wordpress.com Everyday Commotion

    Congratulations on the school acceptance! And, well, agreed on the Trump and Coulter points. Here in MN the big thing is the gay marriage vote. I will be so glad when this election is over.

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