There’s a certain degree of freedom that comes with posting the day after a major storm event. Many people are without power and unable to read this, so we can basically say anything we want about them, because hey, it’s not like what you say on the internet is forever, right?
Grab some coffee; let’s get started. How about your sister-in-law? She’s a real piece of work, eh?
We didn’t see any major damage from the storm in my area of Ontario last night, although a woman in Toronto was killed by flying debris. I hope she died instantly.
Wow. You know things are bad when an instant death is the best you have to offer in the way of comfort.
The damage to some areas in the east is just heartbreaking. It seems like such a simple thing, but if we lost our maple tree I would be heartbroken. That’s where my son learned to climb.
It’s also where he learned that squirrels are territorial, and not at all the friendly woodland creatures their storybook representation implies.
Luckily we escaped power outages here last night. The power flickered, but didn’t go out for any length of time and at the first interruption I heard my son hightail it downstairs for the protection his sister’s company offered. I was in the bath, having decided that no one would help us should we need it if I greeted them in a three-days unshowered state.
Before I got in the bath I instructed the kids to stay away from the windows and showed them how to bypass the child safety on the BBQ lighter. I also brewed some coffee in case we had no power in the morning. It’s all about preparation, friends.
But it was hard to relax listening to the wind blowing through our backyard. It made a terrifying screaming sound as it pushed through the collection of broken toys and errant pieces of lawn furniture hidden in the wet grass. I had spent most of the day outside trying to get the yard storm ready and to prevent Tonka Trucks from becoming yellow missiles hell-bent on killing my neighbours as they took frightened dogs out to pee in the storm. The canvas gazebo roof proved to be a bit of a challenge to get down all by myself, but as the old adage goes, “Give a determined woman a broom handle and a broken ladder and there’s no telling what she’ll accomplish,” or something like that. (Bonus: I invented several new swear words. I’m work-shopping them this week and will get back to you if they get the go-ahead.)
I found Twitter great for keeping on top of breaking storm news, at least until the idiots with photoshop came a tweetin’. I’ll admit I almost bought the skyline ones, but you lost me at Godzilla in the New York Harbour. I had been following CNN, but not for long because I find it hard to watch now that they’ve changed their primary target demographic to “toddlers with access to the liquor cabinet.” I had been tuned in for only five minutes when the anchor informed me that “hurricanes bring lots of rain and big winds.” Well, thank you, CNN! I had been blaming the heavy rain on Republicans until your in-depth weather system analysis!
I did feel bad for CNN’s Ali Velshi, though. He had to stand outside in the rain and floodwaters all day, which must have sucked. Although being able to pee in your pants unnoticed on national television would probably be fun.
Wherever you are today, I hope that you are warm and safe and dry.
Or at the very least that you were able to get some coffee.