| Posted in:Family

It’s been summer vacation for the last month and it has been GLLLLORRRRIOUS!

“Whaaaat?”  you ask. “Hasn’t this been the worst summer Ontario has experienced in decades?  

Okay; I concede that the weather does indeed suck sweaty crushed parts. It is true that it has rained every single day since June 12th 2007, and last night’s weather report was just  a really pissed off looking weatherman standing under an umbrella shouting, “I got nothin’, people! NOTHING!” Then he threw the umbrella at the camera man in disgust and disappeared off screen to a crack of lightning, several off-colour words and interesting adjectives.

But it’s all sunny skies as far as I’m concerned. I’ve hired a fantastic babysitter who not only tolerates, but enjoys Lego, and I haven’t had to pack a lunch in almost 30 days. In fact, I haven’t even MADE a lunch in 30 days.  But the absolute best part of the summer by far is NO MORE GRADE FOUR MATH HOMEWORK.

Yesterday, while blissfully browsing the shelves at Chapter’s Bookstore, I came across a dusty corner that I had never noticed before. Usually when  I go to the bookstore I have the kids with me, and so spend my time talking my kids out of books like “Dogs and Other Super Fun Pets Your Mom Won’t Buy” and “Fire, Hammers, and Household Chemicals: Jimmy Makes His Own Fun!”  

But here was a section that I had not ever seen before. It was marked simply “Math.” I laughed and thought, “Who READS about math?”

Math literally makes my face hurt. I carry a calculator with me in my purse and would be lost without it. Yet here were books, MANY books about the supposed joys of Calculus, Algebra, and Geometry.  I cannot imagine any circumstance under which I would ever purchase such a book. Sudoku books should be required to come with a cyanide tablet, or, at the very least, an Advil and package of Margarita mix.

I never understood that whole controversy a few years back about the Barbie Doll who quipped, “Math is hard!” MATH IS HARD!

People who can convert imperial to metric without a calculator or tell you without Google how to find the volume of a circle based on radius? Freaks.

 But let it not be said that I am a disillusioned fool; I know the reprieve from math is short lived. September is quickly approaching and we all know what that means.

 Grade FIVE math homework.

  • http://www.mom-blog.com/ artbytech

    Ok, I guess that makes me A FREAK. I love calculus. But God’s punished me for that bit of indulgence: my daughter has Down syndrome, and like most kids with Down syndrome, math is a mysterious, useless thing and counting is just a waste of her time.

    Did I mention she’s only going into GRADE ONE?? And I’m 43, so I have no clue how math is done these days. And I’m a sucky teacher.

    Which means the next 12 years are going to be pure agony…

  • http://www.cookingwiththejoneses.com lesley

    I hate Math with a passion!
    Teacher at school wasn’t interested, I actually asked to stay behind & maybe she could help with my homework…she told me to come back at the end of school time…mmm things were looking up…she sat me down at the back of the class & just gave me the same homework again!!
    big help she was lol
    teachers make a difference…

  • Jamie

    you should just call allan he is super good at it.. and is a huge freak!! lol

  • Corrine Jackson

    I’m with you. There’s a reason I was an English major.

    • http://highlyirritable.wordpress.com highlyirritable

      Me too!

      But the two pre-req math courses for English majors – watered down as they were – KICKED my ass, and made me want to quit school.

  • nat

    I just want to know why ‘Dingly Butter Nuts’ loves fire, hammers and household chemicals so much. What have you been teaching him!?

  • http://www.pettiteavis.com Little Bird

    Math is a language that I unfortunately do not speak. I can figure out a tip and sorta budget for foodstuffs (only ’cause I’ve practically memorized the various prices). That’s it.
    BTW- I found you through another blog and LOVE the way you “talk”!

  • http://theperfectlady.wordpress.com spamwarrior


    This fall I’m taking Calculus/Analytical geometry. Booooooo

  • rosemerrie

    When I transferred I told them no more math classes. I’m a history major I don’t need any more math classes so you better make sure all the math classes I took already transfer cause I’m not doing anymore.

    Math is the devil.

    Recently on postsecret someone did write an entire secret in binary. That was kinda cool even though I couldn’t read it and someone had to translate.

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