| Posted in:Writing

dog looking out window Looking

Looking for work is soul-crushing. It’s no no no no no no maybe no no maybe yes wait; no no no definitely not no maybe no. It sucks. I don’t care who you are or how great your resume. You can be Queen of All the Cool Stuff with a PhD in The Shizzle, it doesn’t matter because not everyone is going to like you or want to hire you. You’ll likely find something eventually, but the time it takes to get there feels like an endless loop of being naked at your high school reunion, except you’re 41 years-old with the stretch marks to prove it, while everyone else still looks 17 but somehow have equivalent to 20 years invested into their careers. They’re also driving cars which do not smell like cheese and dead dreams.

I had an interview a few weeks ago – the farthest into this process I’ve been in a few weeks – and I thought the position would have been a good fit in that it was part-time and I have freelance work to fill the remainder of the work week. I felt good about the job, which is why it completely sucks that I didn’t get it. Maybe I should act as though I don’t need work – that I have all I need and anything else would just be selfish. That’s how karma works, right? Or is that how you get pregnant? I can’t recall so if someone knows please email me right away because I gave away the cloth diapers years ago and also no more babies needed here, thanks.

Things around the house are running smoothly. And why wouldn’t they be, really? I have 20+ hours of time to fill each week, even after scouring for jobs, so even my bottles of floor cleaner sparkle and dust bunnies are an extinct species ’round these parts. I’m also currently planning N’s 10th birthday party and lucky boy he is, his mother is underemployed and so he reaps the rewards of me having unrestricted access to the internet. I don’t want to say it’s going to be the party of the decade, but I bought paper straws with a chevron pattern and as soon as I get confirmation emails from Beyonce and Iron Man, I’m blowing the lid wide open on this thing.

I have some freelance projects coming up at a magazine I love writing for, as well as my regular articles for iVillage and YummyMummyClub. Any editor or team I’ve worked with to date has been fantastic and I still cry a bit for the end of MamaPop. Writing the celebrity and pop culture stuff was so much fun you don’t even know. I guess I could do a bit of it here, and that may be something I will do in the future. It’ll just pop up one day, something about Justin Bieber or Kim Kardashian sandwiched between stories about my dog and my teenager’s alarming hair-conditioner addiction.

I’m also re-reading Anna Karenina and knitting sweaters for my dog using hand-spun yarn, harvested from her fur.

I should not be left unsupervised.

  • Jennifer Smith

    I feel for you. Been there, done that… actually, still doing it in a way. Best piece of advise I ever got: drop the “decades of experience” line from the resume. Sad but true.

  • Chantal

    I’m with you…….. TOTALLY. I found one 10 minutes from my house with some flex – perfect fit on skills – nada. It’s hard not to take it personally.

  • http://playgroundconfidential.com/ Rebecca

    Oh dear. I was hoping you wouldn’t get to the rereading Tolstoy stage of unemployment. I similarly have very little work and yet still no time. So at least you have sparkly floors?

  • http://www.yummymummyclub.ca/blogs/kat-inokai-trying-times/ Kat Inokai

    Send me your res please! I’ve always got my ear to the ground. And my hand in many pies. So basically I’m a sticky mess constantly engaged in a game of Twister. But I knows people. xo

  • http://myunwrittenlife.com/ Brandy

    Totally understand what you are going through. I’ve applied for a few jobs lately and I didn’t get the one I wanted. Maybe someday the perfect one will find us!

  • http://injaynesworld.blogspot.com/ Jayne

    If you didn’t get the one you wanted, it just means the Universe has something even better for you. I know that sounds like complete delusional bullshit, but I’ve been you. And now I’m 65. In between I learned the magic that “ask in faith believing that what you want is already yours” can actually bring. The “how” is not your problem. Or to put it another way, focus on the donut and not upon the hole. I know it doesn’t feel like it not, but you’re still a puppy and you’re entering the best years of your life.

    • Jeni M

      Jayne, this is exactly what I needed to hear today. (Actually, everyday. I’ll be coming back to it often.) Thank you. XO

      • http://injaynesworld.blogspot.com/ Jayne

        You’re welcome, my friend. xo right back at ya.

  • Javamom

    Have you considered changing direction slightly? Find a new niche to write for? There has got to be something…for me, I used to be a flight attendant and worked in a pilot training facility so the aviation lingo is something I’m comfortable with. Editing technical manuals from aviation places are generally better paid (but few and far between..still something I keep an eye on). Think back to some of the things you used to do that could expand your career horizons, maybe…

  • One Funny Motha

    I’m sorry about that. Know the feeling all too well, unfortunately. It’s rough out there. Sounds like you got some solid advice, though & you still got some gigs so you’re ahead of the game.

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