| Posted in:Family, Writing

 Summer by the numbers School ended a week ago. Yay for freedom! Hurray for no bagged lunches! Whoopee for sleeping in everyday! No. I’m done with this summer vacation bullshit, because this is no vacation.

Here’s how I’ve spent summer so far, by the numbers:

  • 7 days off school
  • 7 days of rain. Format: torrential
  • 17 hours sleep/day by 14 year-old
  • 2 clothing changes (son)
  • 56 clothing changes (daughter)
  • 14 cries of “I’m booooored…”
  • 14 internal primal screams
  • 14 grapefruit and vodka “medicinal tonics”
  • 3 requests to go to the water park
  • 3 discussions about the very real health risk of hepatitis, floating band-aids and standing in lines wearing wet bathing suits
  • 4 shouts of “Screw-it-all-everyone-get-your-ass-in-the-car-we’re-going-to-the-ice-cream-store
  • 88 towels laundered
  • 5644 Freezies consumed
  • 1 cheese-curd-factory-smelling car
  • 122 introspective conversations with self re-evaluating attempt to work from home

But it hasn’t all been bad; not at all. There was a quarter of an hour last Wednesday when the rain stopped for a few minutes and both kids read quietly. Then a fruit fly farted and the world’s axis shifted and everything went back to normal. To break up the boooooredom yesterday, my son had a few friends over. They were busy building something lethal from Hot Wheels track in the living room and I was getting some work done until I heard my son say, “Okay! And then you defend yourself with the axe.”

At that point I went upstairs, where I locked myself in the bedroom and took a nap. I’ve found that these things are best sorted out among the participants themselves.

Then on Monday I was happy to learn that I had been chosen by a panel of judges as a Blogher 2013 Voices of the Year in the Heart category for my post Spilled. What an honour! I have a ticket to Blogher and was hoping to attend this year’s conference in Chicago but it isn’t going to happen. My daughter needs braces and I’d like to get them on her before she starts high school in September, so every nickel is currently being squeezed until the beaver poops. As much as I would love to meet all the women whose blogs have made me want to become a better writer – whether for spite or more honourable reasons -  I just can’t justify it this year. But it’s all good; that’s the thing about annual conferences; they hold them every few years or so.

I also received a lovely email last week from TorontoMomsNow.com to tell me that highly irritable was nominated as one of the Toronto Area’s favourite blogs. That’s very flattering because I am not normally put in a sentence with the word “favourite.”

As I write this, there is a flurry of activity going on behind me. This is my office area:

 Summer by the numbers I now work with this directly behind me:

office fort1 Summer by the numbers This kid would be very popular in a shanty town.

 Summer by the numbers

Behold! The elusive blanket fort troll!

How many of you are lucky enough to crawl through a fort to get to work? Didn’t think so.

  • sharon barros

    LoL love reading your blog entries

    • http://highlyirritable.wordpress.com Jeni

      Thank you, Sharon. I’m never at a loss for fodder with these boys in my life. ;)

  • http://gravatar.com/connymcriner Conny Mc

    I think I need to be your friend in real life too!! Wish I was closer to share a glass…I mean bottle of wine….I mean Tequilla!!

    • http://highlyirritable.wordpress.com Jeni

      If I am ever east of here I will call; promise!

  • http://tracysite.wordpress.com desertrose7

    Your blogs always give me a laugh :) Hang in there!

    • http://highlyirritable.wordpress.com Jeni

      Thank you!

  • http://twitter.com/INAE7997 Sheryl (@INAE7997)

    Yay, Jeni! Yay, yay, yay!
    I will cross my fingers that you may somehow get to BlogHer in Chicago. I’ve been to the conference twice, and it so wonderful to meet so many great writers in person. And yes, it is a complete honor! EVERYONE attends the Voices of the Year presentation, and EVERYONE will get a cute little card with your name on it (and all of the other nominees). Great exposure!
    I’m with you on napping rather than trying to figure those boys out…

    • http://highlyirritable.wordpress.com Jeni

      Those boys are something, aren’t they? If it rains money here and I can go, we’ll meet for lunch. ;) If not, there’s always next year, right? :)

  • http://words4jp.wordpress.com words4jp

    How cute!! I mean it may not seem or feel cute to you, but I think it is sweet. Just keep telling yourself that in a few years you will be missing these days;).

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